Excuse me I have a train to catch

I would take this on a train. As in one of those old fashioned trains like on Some Like It Hot and that godawful M&S advert. Its the most annoying thing I've seen in a long while. Oh remember that time you were wandering round on a train in your underwear? NO! because it did not happen! I have somewhat strayed from my point which is that this is nice:
But is this better??

Oh its available in black patent too, all from Topshop you know. £70 for just the big bag err no ta. If you happen to have £70 knocking about at least buy these:

You would also have a fiver left over so then you could have shiny trousers and cake. Or the snack of you choice.